Cats, trees and panic

It's been an eventful day, the cat woke up at his usual ungodly hour, about 5:15. Seeing I was wasting a good day snoozing, he decided to wake me up, like he does every morning.
I feel a paw tap my forehead, he nuzzles my hair, 'mrrrrow'? he asks.

'Go 'way', I mumble to him. OH! She spoke to me! 'Mrrrrrowwww', he nuzzles and says with all the love he can muster. 'Go 'way', I mumble again. He bites my neck, ever so gently, purrr, purrrr, mrowwww, '"OK! Outside? Let's go outside", I tell him.

Goody goody gumdrops, she's up! HEY, it's dark out here, Hey, hey, you're on the wrong side of the door!! He looks back at me as I shut the door and head for the bed. I'm NOT getting up to play 'chase the string' at this hour today!!

I flopped on the bed and slept peacefully for another 2 hours. Mmmm, coffee, I feel so rested. I wonder out on the porch, still in my jammies to drink my coffee and enjoy a wonderfully warm morning. ( I live in 1850 so I can sit on the porch in my jammies).

As I settled in my rocking chair and prepare my ears to hear the birds singing I hear this desparate, frightened "Rowwwllll???" "Meoww?!!" Translated: "Help me, Help me, I'm hurt/dying/beatup/run over by a car/being eaten by a giant rabbit"!!!!!!

"C'mere Smoke" I call. Desperate MEOWW comes back from across the road. Aw, geez, what am I going to find, blood, guts, broken limbs, bones hanging out, gory images running through my mind as I wonder out into the road calling my dear dying cat. (Oh, yeah, I'm still in my jammies and barefoot).

As I stood on the double yellow line in the middle of the road, a new and equally frightening thought runs through my head; The men in the white coats and a huge butterfly net are going to come along and the last thing I'll hear is "Got Her"!

Ok, cat's going to have to die alone or wait for me to get dressed. "Smoke", I call, "I'll be right back". A panicked "Don't leave me!" howl follows me across the yard as I head back to the house. Good grief, how ugly is this going to be when I get back and find a furry bloody mess?

I rushed in, threw some cloths and shoes on and came back out, starting across the road, still calling for my dear kitty, his panicked screams still rushing out of the woods. I don't see him, should I go in? What if there's a dinosaur over there eating him alive? What if I become desert?

"Smokey", I called, my eyes traveling over the weeds, trying to see in the jungle where the crying was... Oh, look UP, what's that in the tree? It sounds really big, should I run for my life?

"Mrowwwww?" the cat asks as I back up. Oh, that's HIM coming down, dumb cat, got himself treed!!!! He found the ground and ran full speed for me, was that really my cat? Wasn't sure, he looked bigger, oh, he's puffed out! I don't know what treed him or why he had his fur standing straight up but at least he was alive and in one piece. Never a dull moment with that cat! Gotta love him!