Instant slow motion

I got up this morning with a list of things I needed to do for the maternal figure. Gather some short sleeve shirts, some tapes, writing paper, sweat shirts. The cloths needed to be washed so like the dutiful daughter (pre-teen eye roll here) I am, I started the wash.

I love doing the wash, no, really, I love doing the wash. I use a wringer washer dated sometime in the '40's and it still works like a charm. I'm dated sometime in the '50's and I wish I worked that well! But I digress:

Got the first load washed, wrung, rinsed and wrung again, stuffed a basket of cloths under my arm and grabbed a bucket of cloths pins. I'm such a good daughter. (pre-teen eye roll here).

The weather channel told me it was 54 degrees out there. That's 32 degrees above freezing.

So, I'm wondering how I managed to go skiing on the back steps that defied the thermometer and remained icy....

It happened so fast! Well, the knowledge that I was on a slippery slope happened fast. Once it was in my head that I was going to get from the top of the porch to the ground at lightning speed, time went instantly into slow-mo.

The whole deal was pretty slick. No, not slippery slick, well, yeah, slippery slick. Let me try again.

The whole deal was pretty cool! Hmm, Well, DUH, things can be icy only if it's cool. Let me try again.

I pulled this fall off pretty well. Hmm, well, no, gravity pulled me down.......

ANYWAY! My heal slipped on the top step and from there my heal slipped of each step until my foot hit the ground. So, Mr. Gravity, you pulled me down the steps but I stayed upright all the way down! But, the ground must not have had the same weather information the steps had, because the ground was NOT slippery. The ground seemed to be acting as though it really was 54 degrees out, so as a result, my foot STOPPED moving as soon as it hit the {warm} HUH? ground.

That's when gravity won the battle with me. But fear not, I won the war on this fall, I jumped up, looked around to make sure I wasn't SEEN by anyone and then looked to see how bad the laundry and cloths pins fared.

The laundry basket was sitting innocently, full, not dirty, as though I put it down gently. HUH! The cloths pins didn't do so well. As I was S-L-O-W-L-Y sliding bump, bump, bump down the stairs (at lightning speed), I found enough time to notice that my cloths pins were jumping out of the bucket like rats jumping off a sinking ship.

So I survived a 4 and a half foot drop that had 4 boards in the way that could have... oh I don't want to think of how those stair/boards could have hurt me, and came out of it with a few bruises, a bucket of scattered cloths pins and a bunch of wounded pride.