I don't know what gets into me sometimes, I miss the Maternal Figure a lot this week, it's so nice out, I've been sitting on the porch with my coffee in the mornings and my book in the evenings, beside Maternal Figures empty chair. Oh, crap, maybe I should throw the chair out and get rid of the wheel chair ramp?
So now it's dark out and I came in to check my other blog, "Are You Mr. Eshelman" to see if anybody commented and ended up reading all my previous blogs that I wrote when MF was here. I told myself not to do it but I read on and on. The end result? I had lots of smiles and chuckles. Maybe this means the grief is over and I can revel in the good memories.
After all, she was a funny ol' thing, when she wasn't mad about something! I laughed out loud at the comments made to my blog about her primping that two men at the nursing home liked to push her wheel chair back from the smoking room. And how about the time she fumbled around and found some matches? She wanted to go outside at 3 in the morning SO bad, actually found the strength to nearly JOG across the room ahead of me!
It was a tough year, having her here, but her presence generated a lot of good memories. Thanks, Mom. I still love you, but I guess you know that.... Hope you're happy with your cello, or maybe you're still making people fetch it and move it for you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Yes, I've been struggling with same thing. Not missing her presence as you might, but still very sorrowful about her path. Even though I know I didn't make her path, I wish I could have made her ways smoother. Even though I know she wouldn't have let me.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, hugs, deal, etc. That's what we do.
Glassawine, dear?
Yes, it saddens me to know she had incredible talent and fortitude but for her own reasons decided on a life-long trek of self-sabbotage. I wish I could have made her life better but we're all our own people, make our own choices, and in the end, we showed her the love I feel she craved. She's happy now, where ever she is, and I'll take that glassawine, thank you!
ReplyDeleteAwwww.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I like to go over old blogs too. Sometimes I cringe and delete them. Other times they make me smile. Sometimes I go through them in a frenzy to try to remember the date of some event... Blogs are great for the old memory bank. Recording things and reading back later can be very cathartic.
Great post as always, Cuz.