Frankenstien is young and handsome

Really, he is! I went to his office today, and, ooohh, boy, was he a looker! Young, buff, with dark wavey hair, dark eyes, and his smile, oh, a smile that would melt the wicked witch of the west.

And I got the honor of his full attention for a whole half hour. Oh, I felt SO lucky, to be in the presense of such a famous and handsome man! He chatted with me, small talk, showed such concern for my needs, I was truely smitten..

He smiled at me, I smiled back, then he said, "this won't hurt much." My heart skipped a beat, was he going to hug me or torture me? I started to worry. "What won't hurt", I asked, starting to wonder if this whole thing was a dream (nightmare?). He turned his back for a moment to pick something up, and to my horror, it was a, a, a PROBE thingy, with wires attatched, his warm smile started to look a little sinister..

"Wha, what are you going to do with that thing?" I asked. He answered with a professor-like disertation on how he was going to send shocks through my arm and hand, reiterated that it wouldn't hurt much, but I might feel a bit of discomfort. A BIT? Can I go now? Mr. Handsome-dark-haired-smiling-famous-guy put some sticky papers on my arm, hooked up some wires to it, and, smiling warmly at me, stuck the probes on my arm.

OUCH! Mr. Monster (as I thought of him by now) smiled warmly and had the nerve to say, "Good." He shocked me several more times, each time smiling and saying how good it was.

I'm thinking at this point, 'touch me with that thing again and we're gonna go at it and you ain't gonna like it, mister'!! He must have read my mind, because he declared once more that it was good, (what, are you god now, you did it and saw it was good??), and put the prong thingy down, pulled my sticker-thingy's off and put the wires away. Whew. Can I go now?

Oh, no, Dr. Frankenstien wasn't done with me yet. He pulled out a NEEDLE, it looked like a darning needle that might have come out of my knitting basket. "What are you going to do with THAT?" I asked, fear welling up like a tidal wave. I SWEAR I heard him chuckle, sinister creep that he was. "I'm going to poke you and listen to the sound waves". Yeah, sound waves that will surely come from my screams of agony! He poked me once on the palm of my hand, and seeming to enjoy my discomfort, proceeded to poke me 3 more times, drawing blood once. Now I was sure I hated him, he was ugly, mean and evil!

He got done poking and shocking me, gave me a kleenex to wipe up the blood and declared that there was no visable nerve damage to my hand. Oh, maybe there wasn't when I came in here but now my whole arm is jumping like a scared armidillo!

The purpose of this torture, um, I mean test, was to find out why I am having pain and weakness in my right hand. Darn right I have pain, after being shocked and poked with a 6 inch needle! At least he didn't put bolts in my neck.