Notice that I have a new picture on my blog. This is my beloved Kelita, a mini Pekingese. She was my trucker-buddy, she's seen more of the country, walked more miles in the desert and Rockies than most people have. She died in 2007. I miss her terribly.
The other night I had a dream that my Mother was alive again, (EEEEK)! She was at my sisters house this time, in a hospital bed, and all the sibs were there. In typical Mom-fashion, she was lambasting my youngest sib. My oldest sib scolded her, "If you don't straighten up you're going to a nursing home"! This served to agitate the Mom-figure even more, as she lay on the bed with the only working part of her running a mile a minute, her mouth.
I went to sit on her bed and try to calm her down, and she BIT me. So, (since in dreams you can do anything you want, or don't want...), I bit her back. I bit her cheek so hard I drew blood, which drew immediate regret from my stone-cold heart. The Mom-figure started to cry, "You bit me!", she exclaimed. "No kidding I bit you", I grouched, "and if you bite me again, I'll bite you back!"
Well, the mean ol' thing bit me again, on the wrist. To strangle her here and now or to not, what to do..... I got up off the bed and moved away from her. To every ones great surprise, she got off the bed, no, she JUMPED up, grabbed her cane and started chasing me. I ran into the kitchen to get away from her, only to find she could not only run as fast as I could, she could swing that cane like a samurai sword at me. I grabbed a broom to spar with her, all the while calling for someone, anyone, to come help me. At this point, I would have liked to see her tackled to the ground and hand-cuffed to a two ton concrete post.
As dreams would have it, (why, oh why?), nobody came to my rescue and I woke myself up screaming. When I awoke, my rescue-cat was laying on my chest wondering what all the excitement was. After turning on every available light in the house, I got myself back into reality, told the Mom-figure to go back where she came from and went back to bed.
Since she is there (I hope!) and I am here, I decided to replace her picture. Well, ok, the dog is dead too but the dog never came back and bit me after she died!
Sweet dreams, DD, only sweet dreams are allowed from here on out!!!
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Sad post. FS still dealing with grief over what might have been.
ReplyDeleteNo nightmares lately except for a few weeks ago one about the spooky house. It was a nightmare because the It, whatever it was, had finally taken a corporeal form and was trying to stab FS to death and poor ol' Flat Stanley couldn't figure out if it was a bad dream or the real thing. And you know what? The It, whatever it was, in the nightmare came to life in that little closet space right outside the bathroom. Scary, scary shit we went through!
Anyway, here's to peace for you and the mother.
Oh, I'm sorry 'It' came back. It won't stay dead either. The grief stuff will get better, someday, I'm sure. That little closet door of yours reminds me of the one in the spooky house that led to the attic. Peace right back, from me and protecto cat.
ReplyDeleteThat's the door I'm talking about. The doorway to the attic -- opposite side -- was the closet the mother/our mother used.
ReplyDeleteI still have nightmares about Gran. Is this horrible, or normal that I can't remember the year that she died??? I have no clue. But it's been quite a few years now. Yikes. I still have nightmares, even though I haven't lived with her in over 25 years.
ReplyDeleteKaren, don't feel bad, I don't remember the year the evil grandfather died either, He usually stays dead, and it took me almost 5 years to realize that my Dad was really, really dead. It wasn't until then that I grieved. Weird, huh?
ReplyDeleteDD, HAH! FS doesn't remember the year GF died, either, but she DOES remember that we didn't die driving through the snowstorm on the way to make sure that he really, truly was on the way out.
ReplyDeleteKaren, yup, it's amazing how one can survive all that stuff and yet, years later, still have it creep up when you're least expecting it.
FS, I remember that drive well, the wiper blade fell off and we saw more of the ditch than the road, but it was IMPORTANT to see that the old nemesis was really going to 'take the trip'!
ReplyDeleteMy conclusion, you only get to bury each family member once in real life, but in our minds we have the option (or curse) to keep digging!