Are we there yet?

Are we there yet, I want it now, is it ready yet? Why?

As the parent of a parent, a parent of my own children and a few steps, I've come to realize I'm also my own parent.

I endure self-directed scoldings, praises and lessons about life that include things like 'dummy, you won't do THAT again, will you'?

Where a self-directed scolding used to be just that, I see where my parent-self has become kinder and more nurturing to my child-self. Maybe I'm now my own Grandma. After all, don't Grandma's let the grandkids get away with WAY more than they let thier OWN kids get away with?

Core Values, the things we grew up believing about ourselves, family, and the world in general are, for me, a big bowl full of little scraps of paper upon which each 'value' is written. It took me a long time to realize that I could shuffle through those scraps of paper, longer to realize I could throw out the ones that didn't work or make sense and even longer to get brave enough to do just that.

First I had to find replacement values, so I had to get to work figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be. Hmmmmmm.

So I'm working on it, find more patience, learn to appreciate myself, find and utilize my attributes, all that.

Then I got side tracked. I realized that there are a whole handful of people that probably don't even realize they have a pile of little tiny papers with significant live-directing words written on them. I realized that change and growth, to me, is not only an option but a necessity but to some change and growth is...... "So, what's your point"?

To borrow from FS, "WTF"???

So I took a look at my most recent responsibility, wondering why she frustrates me to the Nth degree, and I realize that, to her, growth, change and learning new things are not an option. Her question is "are we there yet" like the child in the back seat and my question is "are we there yet" as in, have I got life figured out yet?

Answer, I hope not, I hope to grow, change and learn for many years.